Saturday, January 17, 2015


Today January 17 marks the thirty-ninth year I've known my good friend, Jeffrey Hardy.... I picked up his change when he dropped it on Market Street, and we've been friends ever since. There's much more to say, of course, but that'll be for another time.

Today also marks the twenty-ninth anniversary of Dennis and Rob's getting together.

Dennis Graham and I met in 1978, soon after he arrived from Iowa. He was involved with a friend of mine, Kent Smith, and I was committed to Gary Murakami. Dennis and I were casual acquaintances at first. He and Kent came to my 30th birthday picnic in Huntington Park on Easter Sunday 1979. The previous June they had attended the very first Chanticleer concert at old Mission Dolores.

Dennis worked for Sydney Mobell, a celebrity jeweler with a second location in the Fairmont Hotel. Occasionally, I stopped by to visit Dennis there on my way to Evensong at Grace Cathedral on Thursday afternoons.

I hosted a dinner for Dennis the night before his 30th birthday in 1980. The picture above was taken with my Kodak Instamatic. It shows Dennis in a classic pose...with a cigarette.Years later when I asked what he had done on the actual day, he said he hadn't done anything. Kent figured his birthday had already been celebrated.

After Gary died and Ross moved out, I was briefly involved with a few other people; but nothing was very fulfilling. Dennis was a friend in whom I could confide, complain, and on whose shoulder I could cry.

One Sunday after church I was talking to Dennis and a black friend, Everett, in Huntington Park. [I was complaining about a boyfriend named Tomas] Dennis said I should become involved with somebody more my own age and someone from my own cultural background.

Later when I learned that Kent and Dennis had been but roommates for several years, Everett astutely reminded me of Dennis' comments. "Didn't you hear what he said? You need to be involved with somebody your own age—a good CHRISStian man. Don't you realize who he was talking about?"

So on January 17, 1986, I invited Dennis to dinner and took a leap of......possibilities....which lasted more than another twenty years!


Today is my boss' former boss' birthday. Dora Murphy and I share mutual memories of this day. Dora was primarily responsible for my obtaining a leave of absence from work to care for Dennis his final month with home hospice. For that courtesy I am continually grateful. Today is also Michelle Obama's birthday!

Titian in the Frari (Venezia)